Well, I pretty much called that. I'm sorry you're having to go thru all of this, but your counselor gave you some pretty poor guidance, in my opinion, when they advocated the "Little Bo-Beep" approach (you know, "leave them alone, and they'll come home, wagging their tails behind them.") It doesn't work with affairs, and "ignorance is bliss" is no way to fight for a family.
You asked for examples of women taking a strong stand. Please look up Pearlharbor's posts for a shining example. There are others.
Allen's giving you spot-on advice here. I sense you're looking for the easier path, but I'm afraid there isn't one. Sometimes you have to take the short-term hit in order to gain the long-term respect -- and love.
