Allow me to give you some encouragement about how you feel, and then a couple of other thoughts.
You have been given some good pointers in this thread, but there is something you need to consider in your grieving process. You were married 2 to 3 times LONGER than many others.
Also, from what I understand, it usually happens earlier for women, but your XW is showing signs of "crisis" type behavior. Dyed hair, looking up old friends, facebook, and the desire to be AWAY from her spouse.
I think I read in one of your posts that she had been planning this for years. Has she? or is she just saying that? Something people in midlife crisis say often is they were "never" happy with their spouse. Another subtle sign of a MLCer is confusion and indecision.
Unfortunately, the best way to deal with someone in a MLC is to give them space. When they are ready, they will come to you. If you go to them, it makes them very angry....and they let you know about it.
