We all are. You have to get out of the paralysis that you find yourself in and do something.
Did you read DR? Learn from that about how to do something and seeing and monitoring results.
You came here looking for help. You wondered why no one responded to you and when I did, you don't want to listen to advice or refer back to things that people already suggested to you.
So what do you want? Are you going to wait until you get advice that backs you up as to what you want to do anyway? If so, then do what you want to do.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.