Apologizing for name calling and yelling isnt' pursuit, it's setting an adult example for him to follow.
BUT it is important you make it clear what you are apologizing for and what you are NOT apologizing for... NEVER lead him to think you in any way support his lying, cheating, or escapist attitude.
I am still trying to get a feel for his position on all of this other than he wants a divorce... You are writing mostly about OW.
