Antlers- I appreciate what you're saying, but have to disagree a little with:
"It's up to each of us to realise that it is our own actions that determine our future. "
This is a lesson I'm trying to UN-learn. Some people take major action and make a huge effort and work on everything about themselves and the relationship- but they can't make their spouse want to be married to them if they don't want to be, and people can do their best to change, make amends, and everything else, but if the spouse doesn't want it enough to do the work themselves, it won't change things. I just need to say that b/c some folks beat themselves up thinking- could I have made a difference if I'd just done XYZ???? And you know what, they were doing backflips and major hoop-jumping but you just can't change another's mind if they don't want to change it.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
