My Husband Just Left Me

[BrownEyes]

Hi TimeHeals -
I didn't/dont expect him to do anythign about the anniversary anyway. It was just upsetting because I kept thinking about 10 years ago and how much has changed since then.

This is just killing me. I have not seen husband for 2+ weeks and have only communicated with him twice through email about a few things. I miss him so much.

His family is making a decision this week about if they want to confront him about some sort of treatment for his sex addiction.

I wish I could just let this go. I am working my hardest to GAL and have things scheduled over the next weeks and have been trying to get out of the house daily to at least take the dog to the park. I'm not contacting H at all - through text, phone or email.

[BrownEyes]

So...I'm attending a wedding this weekend and had originally booked a hotel (quite a while ago) but I don't think I am going to stay anymore mainly due to cost $220/night and also because of my dog. I'm not used to having this problem with my dog because my inlaws used to take her whenever we were out of town.

Anyway, do I tell husband that I am cancelling hotel room? I am wondering if he will think it will still be available. I'm not sure what is appropriate. I almost feel bad not mentioning something but at the same time I was the one that made the reservation and even if I kept it would be staying in the room by myself.

Also, getting MIGHTY nervous about this weekend! It will be the first time I will have seen my H in THREE weeks. I'll be taking an anti-anxiety pill beforehand (haha) and I'm assuming we will be sitting at the same table at the reception because the couple does not know we are seperated. Planning to look and act my best!

[BeingMe]

If you cancel the room, I don't think you should let him know. When at the wedding reception, don't talk to him unless he speaks to you, and then small talk. Try and be dancing as much as possible. Have fun.

Good luck.

[BrownEyes]

I have a feeling things could get really awkward. I'm going to be showing up alone. What am I supposed to say when people ask where he is? I thought I would just say "he drove separately". I'm just not sure the wedding is the most appropriate place to start telling people we are separated. I don't want to stress out the bride and groom who may worry becuase they sat us at the same table.

[TimeHeals]

What am I supposed to say when people ask where he is?

How about this? "I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks, so I have no idea where he is".

I have no idea where my STBX even lives (the address was on the dissolution, and I suppose I could have memorized it and went and looked it up, but all I know is that if she wanted me to know, she would have told me). When people ask for her on the phone, I say she moved, and if they ask where, I say I don't know.

[BeingMe]

Just say you don't know. After all, that is the truth, and you don't have to say anything else. They will see him there eventually. It will be interesting to know what he says when asked where you are.

[TimeHeals]

Just say you don't know

That's probably a lot classier

[BrownEyes]

Ugh. No having a good day.

Got an email from MIL/FIL - they had a session with a counselor to go over everything that I told them. Counselor basically said that he didn't think an intervention would work because H's behaviors really haven't had an impact on anyone except for me - since no one knows about sex addicition. He also said H would probably deny problem and wouldnt get help.

I actually kind of think they are in denial but there is nothing I can do at this point. They want to meet to look over the "evidence" I have - I kind of get the feeling they feel like its maybe not as bad as I'm making it sound or they don't believe me. I think they want to believe me but are having doubts. From the outside my H is a really nice guy and you would never suspect a thing!

I told them we could meet to go over everything. I'm just drained. I just don't want to deal with this anymore. I can't help him - I almost feel like I'm crazy. Maybe I am making a big deal out of nothing - that is how I feel. Like, maybe it is normal for someone to do those things. I have no idea anymore.

I almost don't even want to be involved. I want to show them and just hand it over to them. I'm overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty now for telling his parents.

I'm having a really bad day.

[BrownEyes]

Trying to decide if I should or should not wear my rings to the wedding this weekend. I have been wearing them but not sure if I should in front of WH. WH has not worn his since the day he left - he left the ring at the house.

I guess I could just wear my wedding ring and not my engagement ring.

I don't know. The amount of analyzing I do over some of this stuff is just amazing. Haha!

Also, can someone shed some light on this. WH is so determined to get a mediator and get a divorce and switch his phone plan. I emailed him (along with other things) sand said "Your name has been remoed from the plan"- he still had to call and switch it over to his own account but I gave authorization that he could do so since I was the primary account person. I didn't explain all that in the email because I dont want to be his "hand holder" but he is STILL on the account. I just don't get it. It's just so confusing.

[LSG]

I have a feeling things could get really awkward. I'm going to be showing up alone. What am I supposed to say when people ask where he is? I thought I would just say "he drove separately". I'm just not sure the wedding is the most appropriate place to start telling people we are separated. I don't want to stress out the bride and groom who may worry becuase they sat us at the same table.

If you have so many concerns, you should just wear the wedding ring. You are still married until the divorce if finalized. You don't have to make a big deal about it even if STBX asks. Just make a short response.

For me, I will wear my wedding ring until the D is finalized with my W.

It is your choice what you decide, but I just think you should try not to think too much about "what ifs."

Have a good time at the wedding and show the person that you are now, and just enjoy yourself!