As I have said a few times I can't begin to imagine what it feels like to be left while you are pregnant. I just can't. While I am glad you have the support of the other women here who have been in the same situation (and I am equally as horrified for them) it also keeps you in a bubble so to speak. Sort of like it would be VERY easy for me to gather a group of women who have lupus and are very ill and had there H's leave them (which is what happened to me) and only view the situation through the bubble of *only* being sick or pregnant.
CG, dont be equally horrified for any of us on this forum, pregnant or not! Be happy that we are all doing what it takes to get to the next step... for better or worse! Yes, it does help for us (I was left by my spouse while PG), to come together and share our stories... Its not a bubble, but rather a community of support! Just like their are threads on infedility, and sexless marriages, and so on... our similarities are what help one another understand our own sitches. Speaking for myself, it helps me to connect to FlowMom and NewMama and other PG women or new moms because they are going through the same situations as I am with Birth, baby naming etc.
NewMama has such a great stregnth, and her GAL techniques, and how she raises her son and shares him equally with her WAH is to be commended.
While I do believe that truth and honesty can help us each on here put things into perspective, I also respect that we are ALL HUMAN and have hearts, most of them broken... therefore we have scabs on our hearts and all of us on here should be more attentive to one another's feelings. We need to nurture one another while helping one another move on and to see the truth. We are all in the same boat here... for whatever reason or another, and its not a happy place!
Perhaps we should stop judging but instead offer contructive criticism in a positive manner and when your comments are not appreciated, move on to another thread. the point of us posting and responding is to help one another, not hurt or offend one another.
one thing I learned in all of this is that none of us have it easy... Whether its OW, MLC, an illness, whatever... we all got here, and wish things were different. I dont think one sitch is worse than another's but each of them are to be treated differently, and yet the same. We may not agree on another's techniques but we are not here to judge but rather support the other as they go on their personal journey. Obviously there is no text book material on what will work exactly to get your Spouse back, so we take our chances. When our mind and hearts are ready to move on we do... and we will... we have to make a few mistakes, and others few spins and turns... and in the end we hope and trust that we will all be okay. But the point is as we, LBS, are to let our WAS go on their journey, even if it pains us to see what they are doing is wron, we also need to have that same level of respect for everyone else on this site. We each have to go through the motions and when we are ready, we will know the next step.
NewMama, be strong and positive and the great mom that you are. When things get tough just remember your shining star... your son!
