I am not kicking you out, YOU are choosing to destroy a marriage rather than to rebuild one
But she thinks that I am the one who is destroying the marriage.
She asked me how we are going to pay for an apartment for her and I said, "That's your problem and to ask the OM to pay for it. If he really cares, he will pay for it."
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.
I am not kicking you out, YOU are choosing to destroy a marriage rather than to rebuild one
But she thinks that I am the one who is destroying the marriage.
She asked me how we are going to pay for an apartment for her and I said, "That's your problem and to ask the OM to pay for it. If he really cares, he will pay for it."
I do like that answer. You can also tell her, "Look, when you are my wife, fully involved and fully committed to our marriage, then you will find ME fully committed to protecting you in every possible way -- emotionally, spiritually, and financially. But when you break your vows and profess your plan to leave the marriage, I'm not going to help you financially leave us, unless a court orders me to do so. If you want to leave us and set up a place of your own, I'm certainly not going to use our family's limited finances to help you do it."
She asked me how we are going to pay for an apartment for her and I said, "That's your problem and to ask the OM to pay for it. If he really cares, he will pay for it."
Oh my gosh! I am soooo proud of you, Ken! I really like your answer. I nearly spewed my coffee out when I read the part about how "we" are going to pay.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I would be VERY tempted to let OMW know of this possibility, or that you have suggested it. I doubt OM will pay, but definitely not if he is moving away in a few months or if his W knows!
Doesn't he have another apartment or something somewhere anyway??
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
WhatNow OM's wife doen'st CARE... she is timid and useless... she's doing all the wrong things - pursuit, ignoring the affair, etc... she has proven to be of no help through any of this...
The original plan was that I was going to take the older daughter out to shop and eat and she was going to take the younger one. But the younger one protested strongly, saying, "I want Daddy! I want Daddy!" So we decided that I would take them both out to eat and then she could take the younger one since I like to spend one-on-one time with each kid every other week and today was the older ones day to be with Daddy. But I ended up taking both of them while she went shopping.
BIG pat on the back Ken! What a great Dad you are!
My husband has NEVER:
1. Taken ANY of my 3 kids shopping 2. Taken them out to dinner or even through a drive thru 3. Done a weekly grocery run (not in 23 years)
He has taken each of the 3 to a movie by themselves, but only because he wanted to see the movie too.
Hats off to you for being such a good father! Your wife has NO CLUE what a jewel you are.
