boy, I want to cut and paste and quote back to you!
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When I get this way it feels like I'm at the bottom of a huge mountain I have to climb, except I'm really tired and don't want to do it. That's the not-wanting-to face stuff issue I have.
Yup. Been there.
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went through a patch like this a few mos. ago. I get too little sleep, dont' eat right, I'm tired drained & whiney. A real life of the party! I need to refresh, rejunivate, & Rest!! This is a pattern I've always had, even before I met H. Sounds obvious. But yet this is what I do.
First of all, you ARE NOT whining! you are venting, you are sharing, you are thinking through what and why you are feeling what you feel.
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ACTION, EVERY DAY, NO EXCUSES.
No who's beating herself up? You know it's an up, down, back, forth, process, progress, backslide.
You recognize your patterns (I flop around without a regular schedule, don't finish things, it makes me anxious and depressed--but can I always make myself have a schedule? No!) so knowing it is a pattern, not a huge moral flaw or failure, just "what you do"--you can be nice to yourself and give yourself boosts to make changes little by little.
It sounds like you were really strong with the L and the $ and standing your ground. Good.
Visitation is a great idea. Sounds like a perfect compromise. If only there were a non-smarmy way to say "you are sooo busy with your new Las Vegas life, surely you don't want the responsibility of a dog!!"
It was very brave of you to go to the movies by yourself. A new laptop will be a lot of fun. Shopping, volunteering, all good.
I give you an "A-" on the weekend GAL! Not that it's up to me to judge, sorry to presume like that.
You just have to get past the final paper/agreement signing, and I think you will move forward a little more. Right now it's like having a ball and chain around your ankle.
Have a great week--onward!
(and look for Hitchhiker's Guide--if you like British humor)
You know it's an up, down, back, forth, process, progress, backslide. 
