I agree with Gatsby... a mediator of some sort could help, i dont like the lawyer thing myself, but you ned help and someone professional could help you tackle the issues one by one and perhaps in a manipulative manner and your WAH could get sucked into giving you what you want. Dont discuss anything more with him. Tell him you would like a mediator to help b/c you dont want to go back and forth on points if you can not see eye to eye. And that your priority right now is taking care of the baby, not ways of making him feel "comfortable". He walked away, made life changes for you and the baby, and now wants to have his say in everything else!
+The baby's name is entirely up to you! If you are the one raising her and taking her to school and doctors ect. then it is your call! Not His! Tell him one day, when you remarry, she will take her new father's name... you know the man who will raise her alongside of you! Do what feels right... and if in time it doesnt seem right, change the name! The baby will not know the difference. You have to be happy with the decision. tell your WAH, that your baby will not feel rejection b/c she does not have his surname, but rather because he left w/o ever wanting to be a father figure or giving her a chance to have a family! And more so because on top of a divorce, he is moving miles and miles away! That's rejection! A surname is a family name... what good is his surname if he does not want to be a family? Men...UUgghhhhh!!!!
+What are the legalities of child support in your state? Do you believe him or feel you can trust him... what does he mean in a month he will look over his finances? and if he needs to money to move to Europe instead, does that mean less for you and your baby? Can't you get something in writing that makes sure he continually give you payments!?
I second G's points...
What you MUST have:
+ Regular, steady child support + At least most of the apartment (if you guys own it, then I guess that confuses me a little and I'm not sure what I would do) + NO friendship + The baby's name is ALL your decision + The divorce that you want.
you H also said in his email that he will regret this decision and I CAN'T WAIT!!! We all know that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be Strong... he is weak, and disturbed, and this alien needs to come down to earth and see how distored his version of being a father is.
I am so sorry you are going through this... What an A$$!
