First we go back and go over what happened and give you some feedback...
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Sunday morning I went to church and then to the gym. I pulled in the gym parking lot and my W pulled in as I was getting out of my car. She sat in her car and I walked in to the gym.
You need to find a way to NOT be at the gym when your wife is. Trust me, she FEELS that you are trying to be there when she is.(doesn't matter whether you are or not, but that is what she thinks) You HAVE to find times when she isn't there. This is most important. No excuses. Find another time. Purposely STOP looking for her car when you come in or leave. These little things like not looking for her car and not being there when she is are steps forward to letting go and for not only you to let go, but for her to FEEL that you have let go.
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Then I start analyzing it to death. Why did she do it?
Guilt. Your email to her that you handled it ALLOWED her to finally feel the guilt. You have kept her from feeling guilty. Once you let go of her vacuuming, she was free to do it out of choice and not because YOU wanted it done. (keep that in mind and notice how good it works when you let go of things and let them make their own choices)
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On a side note, she only vacuumed the first floor and not the second. She didn’t do a very good job vacuuming but then again she never did like doing housework
Stop the critical spirit. If you alread knew she doesn't like to do it and never did a good job before, then you shouldn't have asked her to do it in the first place if it wasn't going to be up to some standard of yours. (I suspect this critical spirit of yours has turned her off a lot more than you realize over the years. I also suspect that she never felt she could please you. I also suspect you don't realize how much you STILL criticize her even today) You need to stop this.
She vacuumed. Good for her. Be glad.
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I don’t believe her that she didn’t check her email until Sunday night. She used to always check her email many times during the day. I think she was just trying to look good that she decided to vacuum not knowing that I had sent her the email. I don’t buy it.
SEE EARLIER POST regarding critical spirit. 8, I find it interesting that you wait and wait for her to email you, are critical when she doesn't, and now are critical of her when she does. This is something you need to work on in yourself. She emailed you back. She vacuumed. Both things you say you wanted. Leave it at that and stop getting what you ask for and then finding a way to criticize it.
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When W said she would email agent I was unhappy because she made no mention of copying me on email which I had asked her to do…breaking another boundary.
Notice the word "UNHAPPY".. Again.. . You find a way to be unhappy and not satisfied. I talked to you a few weeks ago about you taking charge of the house communication directly with the realtor. It is silly for you to call this a boundary and silly for you to be unhappy. Be mature. It isn't that big of a deal. Stop making it into one.
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Anyway, I was very surprised that W actually vacuumed the house. Upsets me that she couldn’t have responded to me last week to say that she would do it.
SEE ABOVE CRITICAL SPIRIT comments again... Again.. You are "unhappy, or upset" etc etc etc..
These are reasons your wife ended up leaving you... Mature men act happy, control their emotions in trials and are STRONG emotionally.Become STRONG emotionally. I believe that it even "upsets" you that she responded from her maiden name email address. Get strong. Stop letting these things upset you. Find your male side. The strong male side. Emotional is more female.
Now. You can email her back or not. Makes no difference. If you do email her back, it goes something like this. "Wife, thanks for vacuuming. I appreciate it. It looks good" (YES lie about it looking good.)(we are working on your critical spirit. After you get it under control you won't see this as a lie, but will really find a way to make it YOUR truth.)
