Oh, that was long. sometimes you just don't realize...
But, I DID stick to my goal!! H said that he "inadvertantly" invited some of his Wed. night friend's friends to our shin-dig tomorrow. I'm not sure what he meant by inadv'ly. I guess that he is having the friend ask the friends. He did say that this girl is coming. (Not the one that he was joking about the beer keg with but another that was there) I did feel some pang of jealousy and wondered "does he hang out with friend's ff's down there? (friend is married, but his wife doesn't go). does he flirt? does he like o women?" In the past I would have started to cry and asked him all of these questions, but I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT. I DID NOT CRY. That doesn't work. There ain't no cheese down there. H would be very mad at me if I did that. H would move farther away from me. h would think more about leaving me if I did that. h would get mad at me if I did that. So, I did GOOD!!!
KAREN GOOD!!!
I have to say, though, that I don't know who is coming now tomorrow, and I HAVE to behave myself. I CANNOT get scared or jealous!!! (or at least show it). I must trust him. I must be secure.
LO said that I am working on my m before a major crisis, but this is a crisis. He does not know that he wants to be m to me... Well, he wants to be, but not if this continues, yaknowwhatimean? this has got to stop/pressure kind of deal...
