I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. I know the agony you are experiencing. Sadly there is no set formula for "fixing" our situations...what works for one of us may not for the other, so I can't tell you what to do...rather just what seemed to work for me. In my case, when my husband dropped a divorce on me (after months of him asking for one and me fighting it), I kicked him out, stopped communicating about anything with him except the kids, and I proceeded as if we were getting a divorce by interviewing attorneys, looking at houses to move to, setting up a separate bank account, looking for a job, etc. It hurt more than he will ever know, but I stayed strong with the help of my closest friends and family. I had begged, cried, made a fool of myself, gotten angry, threatened and just about everything else to protest a divorce over a year, and when he finally filed, I let him know that if that is what he wanted, to knock himself out. My exact words were, "Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out." He came back asking for forgiveness 2 weeks later, and I would not let him back in the house until he dropped the divorce and the girlfriend. As you know from my thread which you have so kindly commented on, he has slipped since coming back to reconcile. I'm drawing the line....no more slips are allowed now. Period. He knows he is married to a strong woman who will fight for our marriage and family, but also would rather him move on if he isn't going to give me and our family 100%. Again, I don't know if this approach is right for you, but I thought it might be helpful hearing another's story that is quite similar to yours. Prayers for you and for your strength.
