She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[steady]

I'm not so sure he's ignoring the advice he's being given.

He's doing the best he can under the circumstances he finds himself under. I think standing up like you did the other day and speaking your mind about how her treatment of you is unacceptable was a strong statement.

Take a look at the dynamics. You pull away and she follows. Like I read somewhere here, a person can't chase something that's not moving away.

You've been doing the chasing. Maybe now it's time for you to do more of the 'leaving'. But you can't keep 'leaving' just to solicit a certain response from your W. That's an attempt at control and manipulation and I find that it usually backfires. Just keep getting a life for yourself, don't get pulled back in just because she's trying to tug you back with hugs and kisses. Look at them as tools she is using to keep you on her hip.

Whether she had/has someone else isn't an issue unless there's some evidence of it. You do for you and your daughters.

Keep detaching. Also keep in mind that all of the 'signals' you are getting mean nothing - put no value on them and keep on moving forward.

If you want to be too busy on a Friday night then be too busy. I wonder what her reaction would be if you actually canceled a date night she wanted...

robx is right - something easy to get has less value to a person. Making yourself less accessible and not at her beckon call is always a good thing. Just remember, there's a fine line there.

You need to snatch control back. Your talk with her the other day did just that. Now you need more of it - but not in an a$$hole kind of way.

Also, when they are in 'leaving' mode, they will find all kinds of stupid cr@p to pick a fight or spin it negatively on you. It's their way of rationalizing their desire to leave. Just shrug it off. Stand up for yourself - you're not a doormat.