Marriages are difficult even under ideal circumstances; add to that the stress of unemployment, an illness, a career that keeps you from home, a time consuming hobby, for example, and people can become disillusioned by their current state. They had unrealistic expectations and when they did not get fulfilled may become distant, cold, resentful, often look for an escape, find new friends or hobbies and sometimes stray.
It happens. It happens alot. It doesnt necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you, just that your spouse now looks at life differently. Their forward momentum is not the same as yours. You may be perfectly fine the way you are. And honestly, more times than not you are absolutely fantastic, great. Its just your spouse is not into you.
Some might respond with "Ouch" or "cut it out" but I have to say, Big F'ing Whooppie Do. People change, you have changed, if you married your spouse with the anticiapation they were never going to change, then your marriage was doomed from the onset and this is yet another wake up call in life. Otherwise, it is an excellent opportunity for you to learn skills in personal interaction and in attracting the opposite sex.
I am a firm believer that you cannot make somebody love you. And god forbid one controls someone that way or allows themselves to be controlled. If your spouse/girlfriend/lover wishes to seek out new adventures let them, it is what they need. Just continue with your own forward momentum. Life is Good. It F'ing great to be alive.
Nothing says you have to talk them, so why bother. Take some time off from the relationship yourself. Its probably exactly what you need. Enjoy life. Live it up. Develop new hobbies or expand on the ones you have. Socialize a little or alot. Be successful in wanting people to be around you.
By no means was I mocking you in my earlier post; I was pointing out an observation that something such as my son playing videos games was attractive to little girls he knows. It may or may not be the case with your wife. To other woman you meet in your life it very well may be the premise that begins the most amazing relationship you or anyone else may experience.
But it is not the video games. It isnt the car, or the boat or career or any of that; It is the attitude and the life style and confidence that "IT" is happening where I am at. There are hundreds, thousands of interesting things about you. If one particular person does not want to share them with you, It's Their Loss. Do not dwell on it as if it is yours.
I find it depressing to read about someone who is holding back from living life and waiting in the same place for someone they care who is involved in an affair. It is very difficult to want to come back to the same thing you escaped from. Don't expect them too. If you really want to attract your mate, and keep yourself from depressing the summer away thinking about them, then continue to move forward with your own positive forward momentum.
