All of the feelings you described are normal and we've all been there. It is a stage that you are going through that will pass, if you let it.
I felt absolutely horrible when I opened my eyes to my part in my R breakdown.. but you have to remember your H was there too.
Your number one task right now is to take care of yourself and take things minute by minute. Your marriage did not come into a problem state overnight, nor will it be resolved overnight. You'll need a clear head and control to work on it, should you still choose to, so you need to sit tight and let the feelings flow.
Write them down in a journal.. write them down on here and let us know you're journaling... write a letter to H... BUT DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM. Burn it.. put it in a box, whatever.. but at this point DO NOTHING.
If you don't take care of yourself, you can't be there for your children. They need you to be strong right now and you'll need you to be strong to work on your R with H in the future if that's what you want to do.
(((forgingon)))
You CAN do this.. Just breathe...
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
