She may be evil to you because her mind has made you evil to maintain itself. Be like Geronimo and find some new ladies who like to spend time with you. After the divorce if you want to wait.
What is going to happen is your wife will eventually have to come to grips with her choices. She will either continue on the same course and have transformed herself into someone who you won't like anyway, or she will unravel after analyzing the person she has become and may apologize or attempt to come back to you. It takes years for this to happen.
You are right she has made me the bad guy to make her feel good about her decision to be with the OM. I do not want anyone at the moment. I am just ready to be in a R. I want to take care of me and the kids. I wish she was part of my life, but I know that is probably not going to happen.
She may eventually come to understand what happened, but by then, it will not matter because I hope I will be moved on. I don't think that she will ever try to come back to me from past boyfriends and her attitude towards them. Too bad it takes so long for this to happen. I am sure that the OM is a total scum bag, but he is so cool with the attitude for now. His W describes him as not a real man. To his W, he is a total let down, and it took a while for his true self to show. It will be the same with my wife I am sure.
Oh well, not much I can do about it.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
W and I had an argument tonight. I confronted her on a lot of things. She brought up the job stuff about me being out of work. I do finally see how her "warped mind" works, and the stuff that her and the OM are discussing about me. I about laughed about her telling that I am not a very good husband. I found it interesting that she was discussing how it was not cheating because she never planned to go back to me. How it was her choice. I also confronted her about how she never may of love me but chose to live in this country with me. She tried to spew so much garbage and use the job as justification for the A. She also said whatever and so alot.
I made a comparison between me and the other man about me with no job, but and does not provide the money to him with a job and a cheater. I asked her who the real husband is in this situation. I made the same comparison for her. I asked her to find out he really does support his family. I also confronter her on him watching my kids a week ago. I confronted her on the cell phone in the bathroom. I confronted, confronted, and confronted some more. I was so tired of this crap from her.
I told that I am done with her. That I do not want a woman that will cheat on me and the kids. I told her that she is the one that destroyed the family, not me. I also said that she could never justify an affair for any reason.
Did I mention that I said the OM is a scumbage and piece of garbage.
She left for awhile to go for a beverage. She gone for a long time. I am sure that she was talking to him.
I am meeting with my attorney next to submit all my paperwork for the divorce not that I have the money to do it. I am so glad to go and get this worked out on the offensive against her. She is going to be quite surprised. It serves her right.
I am done putting up with the crappy behavior in front of my kids too. My daughter told her that she should say "no thank you" and not be so rude to me. She also said that she is tired of the way that W is treating me and her. She is fed up with the way I am put done.
I told W that she has put me down and made negative comments on the jobs I would have taken and ruined my confidence. She has been controlling me and abusive to me, and I will no longer put up with it.
There was so much more said that I do not remember, but this main parts of the the argument and her denying it. She did say that the affair was not the way I think, and I told her not make me out to be stupid and that it is exactly the way I said it was and to quit lying.
It felt good to get it out. I have had it bottled up for so long that I needed to speak out against the garbage she has been doing and saying.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
W and I had an argument tonight. I confronted her on a lot of things. She brought up the job stuff about me being out of work. I do finally see how her "warped mind" works, and the stuff that her and the OM are discussing about me. I about laughed about her telling that I am not a very good husband. I found it interesting that she was discussing how it was not cheating because she never planned to go back to me. How it was her choice. I also confronted her about how she never may of love me but chose to live in this country with me. She tried to spew so much garbage and use the job as justification for the A. She also said whatever and so alot.
I made a comparison between me and the other man about me with no job, but and does not provide the money to him with a job and a cheater. I asked her who the real husband is in this situation. I made the same comparison for her. I asked her to find out he really does support his family. I also confronter her on him watching my kids a week ago. I confronted her on the cell phone in the bathroom. I confronted, confronted, and confronted some more. I was so tired of this crap from her.
I told that I am done with her. That I do not want a woman that will cheat on me and the kids. I told her that she is the one that destroyed the family, not me. I also said that she could never justify an affair for any reason.
Did I mention that I said the OM is a scumbage and piece of garbage.
She left for awhile to go for a beverage. She gone for a long time. I am sure that she was talking to him.
I am meeting with my attorney next to submit all my paperwork for the divorce not that I have the money to do it. I am so glad to go and get this worked out on the offensive against her. She is going to be quite surprised. It serves her right.
I am done putting up with the crappy behavior in front of my kids too. My daughter told her that she should say "no thank you" and not be so rude to me. She also said that she is tired of the way that W is treating me and her. She is fed up with the way I am put done.
I told W that she has put me down and made negative comments on the jobs I would have taken and ruined my confidence. She has been controlling me and abusive to me, and I will no longer put up with it.
There was so much more said that I do not remember, but this main parts of the the argument and her denying it. She did say that the affair was not the way I think, and I told her not make me out to be stupid and that it is exactly the way I said it was and to quit lying.
It felt good to get it out. I have had it bottled up for so long that I needed to speak out against the garbage she has been doing and saying.
If it felt good for you, then its good. Have a good week man. I don't know if you saw in my previous thread that I went out like a bachelor last week, and a day this week and it felt good.
Nothing wrong with getting your feelings out. It's hard in the heat of the moment to remember how you're supposed to let her know how you feel while validating her feelings. Never be afraid to let her know what you will and will not put up with or when she does something that is not acceptable to you.
I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going good for you. All we can do is detach and take care of business. It sounds like you are doing both. Take care of yourself and you kids and you will, eventually, be fine.
I did not remember anything I was supposed to do. I did not validate her feelings at all because I have done that in the past, and it just has her turn everything back on me. I did not feel that I have anything to apologize for and I did not believe that I should validate the outlandish things that she was saying. I guess not the right approach, but I felt I needed to validate my feelings this time and the reality of the situation through a different perspective, not hers.
Things are going good because I feel that I am moving in the right direction, and I believe that D is going to be that direction.
I am very detached more than ever and taking care of business too.
I am very much about the kids, and they know that I believe more than ever. I am very happy with the person I am more than ever. I have had to change my mindset to focus on the parts of my life that are really important.
I know I will be okay for sure. The ups and downs are spread apart more now.
I thank you for the voice of reason today, and that is what I need.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
