Nothing wrong with getting your feelings out. It's hard in the heat of the moment to remember how you're supposed to let her know how you feel while validating her feelings. Never be afraid to let her know what you will and will not put up with or when she does something that is not acceptable to you.
I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going good for you. All we can do is detach and take care of business. It sounds like you are doing both. Take care of yourself and you kids and you will, eventually, be fine.
