WAW Using God II

[pigskin]

Hmmm too bad. Has your W talked to you since then?

Nope. She was conspicuously AWOL today with the exception of a FB post.

[idontunderstand]

Hey, Pigskin

Just checking in to see how it's going.

I hope all is good or at least as good as can be expected.

[pigskin]

Hey, Pigskin

Just checking in to see how it's going.

I hope all is good or at least as good as can be expected.

Still kickin' IDU, thanks for asking. Had a decent weekend. W had kids up until Sunday morning. Spent Friday with some friends who invited me to their corporate outing.

Saturday I just hung out by myself (I need some friends who are either single or don't have kids! None of mine fall into that category.) Started on a project I've been putting off - digitizing the 35mm slides that my parents took over their lifetime.

Sunday the kids and I went to church, then did some yardwork. Later took the kids to the baseball fields to take some batting practice, and then to an ice cream social at church.

All in all pretty relaxing.

Going to try to set up an initial consultation with a lawyer this week.

[pigskin]

Journaling:

I don't know why it is, but when I speak to my W on the phone, she is pleasant and just like her old self. In person, if I see that at all, it is for only like the first few minutes in my presence.

The last couple of days she's posted things on FB which in the past would make me say, "Wow. Maybe she gets it now and is coming around." But now I don't even care. I removed the tag in my profile on the site that showed I was married to her.

Just got off the phone with an attorney recommended to me by a lawyer friend who had his dissolution done with the same guy. It was a very good discussion, helped me understand some logistics that I was concerned about. He's sending me his firm's questionnaire to get started with the dissolution process. Funny how I have no more emotional reaction to this than if I was paying the electric bill. "I am at peace with it" is the only way to describe the feeling.

[pigskin]

Journaling:

W leaves for 4 days on Saturday to "visit a friend". She has not said who, or where she is going. I just know that she is taking a flight somewhere. Usually when she says nothing about what she's doing it is something she knows I wouldn't approve of. Normally she'd be sending me her itinerary so I know where she is in case of a kids' emergency.

Today I got an email from one of her church's pastors saying they were setting up a meeting with the OM on Wednesday. I'm guessing he is unavailable Monday and Tuesday because he will be on vacation with my W. I have no proof of this, just speculation on my part. I could be wrong and often am, just seems strange.

At this point, I just get angry at the disrespect and hypocrisy. I'm moving forward with the dissolution process, but I just shake my head at how two married people could behave like that. Just file for divorce and THEN have your fling.

The kicker is their supposed devotion to Christ; I think that's what really gets me. If they had no interest in God or religion I think I would find it a lot less irritating. I would even expect it. But an affair is as un-Christian as it gets, and involving the kids in it is just plain evil.

I struggle with the human nature of wanting revenge in some fashion. I think this emotion comes into play when the situation appears to be a lost cause. It seems almost as difficult as the initial anger over the betrayal during the first phase of the ordeal.

I called the pastor after getting his email. He said the church has to walk a fine line between loving the sinners and delivering the message that the sin is not condoned. But he said for the church to sit back and do nothing while the two of them hang out there would send the message that the behavior is condoned. I'm guessing they'll be booted. The pastor stands firmly with me. I told him I've started the dissolution process, and he agreed that it was the right thing to do at this point.

[pigskin]

Talked to OM's W today to tell her that my W's church pastor wanted to speak to her. We got into a small conversation about our sitch.

OM's W told me her 8 year old son said that one night when they were staying at OM's apartment, he woke up to the sound of a woman's voice. He went out of his room and saw a woman there, topless. It wasn't my W, as the boy knows my W.

OM's W said she called out the OM on this since she didn't want her kids exposed to that. She said she was told that the woman was a pilot friend who spilled something on her shirt and stopped at the apartment to change before going to her hotel.

Now she could be totally lying, because I'm sure she hates my W, and for good reason. But I don't know what to do with this info. It could be independently verified if my W were to ask the OM's son. But I don't think I ought to do her that favor.

[TimeHeals]

She said she was told that the woman was a pilot friend

Oh Lord! There's a cat fight a 'comin'.

Whatever OM is doing, he's got them fighting over him, so his ego must be huge.

[MrBond]

I would tell her but in a "matter of fact" kind of way. Like...

Oh BTW, I heard that the OM was fooling around with another woman at his place and his son caught them. Just thought you should know. Gotta go.

Then leave before she can ask any questions.

I think the topless woman was sent by God! Maybe she was an angel in disguise.

[TimeHeals]

I think the topless woman was sent by God! Maybe she was an angel in disguise.

sacrilege! I tried googling "topless angel", but I didn't get anything religous

[pigskin]

Topless angels. Thanks boys. I needed the laugh tonight.

The OM is a brilliant spinmeister; well at least in relative terms. My wife is pretty naive with regard to men's ulterior motives. I'm sure he could talk his way out of it if I told my wife about the incident. After all, he got my wife to believe that his wife raped him. The OM is over 6 feet tall, and his wife is about 5'3" 120lbs.

It is an interesting twist that it was the OM's child who supposedly witnessed this. The kid obviously would have no reason to lie. OM could be nailed dead to rights. I may ask the OM's W about it again just to make sure she's not BSing me.

Even if my W dumped the OM, I don't think it would change my situation. I sure as hell am not going to be the fallback position for my W. She'd have to jump through hoops like a circus dog before I'd even entertain myself with the thought.