I think it was important to put it all on the table, from both sides. I think it was also the first time I have not acted from a place of fear. The marriage needs to be put to rest... And I need to exit it the way I want to.
I think you are right about mediation. Not into lawyers either. Want to do seperation counseling/mediation, but need to find a suitable therapist otherwise I believe it will do more damage than good....and what can be achieved before he leaves in Aug/Sept? Is it worth trying??
Have given WH my bank details and he will start depositing amounts now. This is good. We can reset the amounts later.
As the citizenship app could take up to a year (I thought it was only months) we are looking at a year of our own financial contract, with no help from govt agencies. This is a LONG TIME without single mother benefits, so I need to make some immediate compromises (renting the apartment - yes we own it, well the bank mostly does! - and livng with my folks, for eg) and perhaps meanwhile spending the $ to see an immigration lawyer to be 100% sure of my application being based on my marital status.
I agree with your "MUST" list. Thanks for clarifying.
Cool and pleasant: yes. I am actually deciding to do ALL of this on email for the moment. We are incapable of talking in the same room about any of this contentious stuff. I think when he now comes to see the baby, I will remove myself to another room and not see him. These visists can be 'mediated' via a family member.
Also a bit more info about the name. He said the reason he wants her to carry his name is for her sake, not his. He quoted a passage from a child psychologist who says children live it as a rejection if they don't have the fathers name. WH wants her to know he did 'recognise' her and that both her mum and dad chose her name together. this contradicts what my child psych told me, but i see the sense in it... Darn it, just when i thought i had it figured out!
