Guess I'm not in quite as good of shape as I hoped. W came over tonight after dinner. She needed a little help with her laptop, and offered to bring ice cream if I'd take a look. I thought it an obvious but cute attempt to come over here, so I said okay, but she had to bring a movie too.
She came over before the kids went to bed, and we all hung out for a while. After I got the kids to bed, I helped her with her computer. We were flirting pretty good. She said she wore a new perfume and wanted to know if I liked it. I did.
We put the movie on and laid next to each other on the sofa. We made out once in a while. I ramped it up too fast though. I don't even want to go there yet, but something inside me wanted to see how far I could push it before she backed off. Maybe I just wanted to see if she would back off. She eventually did, and she made joke out of it, but my reaction surprised me. I wasn't angry, but it caused me to wall back up a little. I wasn't as open and easy going, and it was a little awkward from then on. We finished the movie and she left. Now I feel very weird, and not good.
This isn't going to be easy, is it?
We have a tentative date to meet for a late breakfast in the morning. If we do get together, I think I should be honest and tell her how I feel.
