I wrote this and posted in the new comers... Posting here for a record in my thread. Life is going good. Vacation is so close
To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. – George MacDonald
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. -Galileo Galilei
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. -Daniel Patrick Moynihan:
We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart. -Blaise Pascal
I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies. Pietro Aretino
When in doubt, tell the truth. --Mark Twain
Left Behind. Truth. I stand before you. One betrayed person speaking to another. Though you cannot hear my voice speaking the words to you. I whisper them in your ears as you read the words I have written upon this electronic canvas. As you know I was betrayed in July emotionally. Physically in August. I speak this for it is the truth. I am not ashamed of betrayal. I am no less a person than those who have not experienced the gut wrenching pain of betrayal. Those whose hearts are not covered with deep wounds. Whose depths remain uncharted. Yet I heal and the scars have formed. They crisscross across my heart. But it still beats with passion, with love, with care , with hope, with strength, with courage, with determination, with purpose, with endurance, and with innocence. My heart beats strong. My soul , mind , heart and spirit were not destroyed. They were not taken from me by such a selfish and determined act of cruelty. For my vows and morals were the pillars that stood against the storm. I retreated and weathered the storm. These is the truth that I speak to myself.
Today I ran. A slow burn. Pace so slow. Distance far. My body struggled with me the whole first 20 minutes to quicken the pace. To speed it up and get it done as quick as possible. But today’s goal was not to burn quickly. But to remain constant. Savouring the moment as I savour a beautiful glass of Malbec on a cold winter night. Fighting every fibre in my body I forced myself to remain calm. To move at a steady slow pace. Forever keeping the feet at a slow determined yet fluid motion. I savoured the moment. The weather. Cool , grey skies, wind from the north. All gifts to keep me cool and the silence was a gift. The woods. They were still masked in the dusk of winter. But everywhere you could hear the sounds of birds. Building their nests.
Preparing for dawn.
I kept the pace. At the 25th minute the calm overtook me. I accepted where I was, how far I had came, and where I was going. New dreams , new hopes. The truth of the moment appeared before me. I thought of previous blizzards. When the white snow is falling hard and the wind whips all before it. Those moments when time stops. When you can actually experience a moment in time. As it all pauses. The silence, the beauty of the moment. Only can this be experienced at night. Driving in the car. A moment when one is alone. And you witness everything stop. Then you drive through the moment. Awaiting another one. A moment of truth.
And I continued to run. Pace so slow. Distance far. But my energy was boundless. I knew at that moment that this would be one of the most beautiful runs I have experienced. I thought of myself. I thought of all these lies that tried to destroy me. I thought of truth. Not truth of the story. Not truth to cut through the lies.
But the truth.
My truth.
And I ran.
35 minutes now. The river was now to my right. The current full of the winter thaw. Ran fast in the opposite direction. Yet here I was safe upon the land. In a trail that kept danger at bay. My pace slow and steady. One foot landing in front of the other. The muted thump after thump after thump. No shortness of breath. No pounding heart. All in sync. All as one. A pure moment of truth. My mind , body , spirit and soul were all as one. Peace. At the 45th minute I decided it was time to speak the truth. I am betrayed I am healing I am strong I am abound with inner strength I believe in myself I am a kind and caring person I am working every day at improving myself I am hopeful about my future I am in control of the present I am at peace with that I cannot control I am at peace with the past I am proud of my actions I am not afraid of my thoughts I am not afraid of my actions I am not afraid of speaking my thoughts I am not afraid of acting I speak the truth I speak openly when needed I listen when needed I listen because what is said to me is important I listen because I enjoy what you say to me I listen because I wish to learn I will have a full and happy life I have grace I have strength of character I smile with my eyes I have self worth I believe in myself I have endurance I have persistence I have a purpose I have strength I have determination I have courage I have clarity For I am truthful to myself I know now that I will fall in love again because I know I can love again I know now that I will love again because I can trust again I know now that I can trust again because I was granted the gift of unconditional love.
And I kept running out of the woods and back into the town. I ran through downtown. People were out walking their dogs. Some were families. Some were alone. But neither made me happy. Neither made me sad. For there was a truth to this moment. Each one was enjoying the moment. And that was what mattered. My perception was truthful. For this was the only meaning of the moment. I was alone. I was happy. I kept my pace. You all were in my thoughts. So I smiled. And kept the pace. Slow. But my energy was boundless. So I kept running.
At the 80th minute I finally saw another runner going in the opposite direction. The first one today. And as we ran past each other we looked at each others eyes. And we smiled and shared the moment. One runner to another. Both running a slow pace. Both enjoying the moment and the feeling of our bodies complete in tune with the goal.
A dream run. I had it today. For when I finished and started my stretching I knew something magical had occurred. I kept a pace. I accepted that it was the distance that mattered today. Not the finishing time.
I was finished.
Fully and completely.
My life is now.
And I thought that this is a moment that I wanted to share with all of you. And I wanted to say the following words to you. For I speak the truth. These thoughts were about I. But I could take your name and place it there. And the truth would be spoken. Interchangeable. Equal. Respect. Truth.
So now I ask you to speak the truth to me. To offer your thoughts and support. For they are interchangeable. And the wind will carry the words to those who need the strength today. The whole world will be embraced by our unconditional love and respect for each other.
We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart. -Blaise Pascal You can bend it and twist it... You can misuse and abuse it... But even God cannot change the Truth. - Michael Levy
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
See, I never really posted much to you b/c you seemed to always have it so put together. That and you GALed like a vengeance-lol! What the heck sort of insight or suggestions would I have....
Best
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Personally, I'd like to know more about the marshmallow man club. Ah, I can just picture the club meetings now, is there anything finer than roasting over an open flame with a stick up your butt! But, then again, that reminds me too much of my marriage...cancel my interest.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
