I'm so glad that you have replied. I read a bit of your sitch too and they are quite similar.
When things are good, we laugh, love spending time together, make love, you name it. Having two kids one of which is 2 years old makes it hard to always have time for eachother. We have lost perspective with eachother although I will admit he has always tried harder than I. In fairness to me, this is how it has ALWAYS been. He doesn't communicate; says he's scared. I've been telling him our whole relationship that he needs to tell me when I upset him so (a) I know and (b) he doesn't hold it in and becomes resentment. He hates me right now and quite frankly I don't blame him.
All I'm thinking about is how I wronged him. I know that this has happened to me because it's going to make me grow into a better person all around. It's just so hard at times to keep that in perspective.
I've always resented him for how my life has turned out. I blamed him and have never fully trusted him (have never really trusted any man, have said hurtful things (that for the record he has never said to me) All of this has been out of fear so yes, I know I have issues that need to be addressed for sure.
I just wish he would have given me the chance...I suppose maybe I wouldn't have changed if it didn't happen this way. That's what I keep telling myself..
I don't seem to be feeling better acknowledging all my wrongs - I have taken full responsibility and actually hate myself for doing this to him, my kids, and me! How do you get over that???
Has your H come back? What's the status? How are you doing?
