Newmama - you are doing a very good job at your GAL adventures.
There is one last thing I would like to clear up then I will refrain from further comment.
I am not arguing with you. I am posting alternative viewpoints. You might not like them or you might feel challenged by them but that doesn't have to mean it's a conflict.
I have followed your thread for a while now for a few reasons:
#1. I am sort of amazed you are still standing after being left while pregnant AND having to deal with an OW and a young child. That is a compliment.
#2. I admire the fact you have tried *many* different approaches with your husband even though I might not agree or understand why you do things the way you do. Since you have mastered flexibility and I have not; I follow your thread to see what I can learn from you.
#3. You have said a few times that you are very certain your H lives with OW but has not officially said so. I can relate to that 110% because my H did the same thing for a long time and it nearly killed me. I can openly admit to this day, even though this happened over a year ago, it still hurts my feelings and makes me very upset when I think about. I was actually curious as to how you seem to deal with it since you clearly are dealing with it much better than I did.
IOW I didn't go trolling on your thread to argue with you. You stated you wanted some alternative viewpoints so I offered them. Now that is just fine if you didn't like them, no problem, but it doesn't have to mean we are arguing or having a conflict.
You said yourself you were going to try and not analyze everything little thing your H said or did. That is not easy, I know. IMO that also means you are so emotionally twisted up in this situation (and who wouldn't be?) that maybe you are glossing over certain things because you are just so involved.
We are both strong in different ways. Two strong women challenging one another doesn't have to mean we are arguing or one of us is "mean".
It is sort of difficult to know how to communicate with you when you ask for alternative viewpoints and when they are expressed you say "well, you sure do know how to run somebody else's life!". I am lucky I can run my own life and I don't want to run your life or anybody else's for that matter. I was just providing what you requested.
You have decided what you think of me and that is fine. You have made your feelings more than clear. But your personal feelings for me don't make my thoughts less valid or worthy of consideration. Or at the very least I am not sure I deserve to be lashed out at.
Part of the reason I read through your old threads was my first reaction to allowing your H come over all the time was "geesh, this woman is STUPID for allowing this". Then I read through everything you had posted and better understood WHY you made that choice (if your H was at your house with your son it lessened the bonding time with OW). And then I thought "geesh, this woman is pretty damn smart". So I am glad I didn't post my first initial reaction until I had read through all the facts you had posted.
