still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

Thanks CW- yeah I guess there is no age for shopping with kids!

Well just got back from the dinner. This time there were people closer to my age. Mid-late 30s, early 40s. The youngest kids were 3 though.

We had a good time, S was happy and loved "playing" with the other kids. But I was chatting with a couple parents, one was a dad, and he asked me my story. Of course all I said was "we are about to start the process. He has a girlfriend, left when I was pregnant,and we have been separated since.He chose her!"

Uhmm...duh- sometimes I do not think before speaking (a lot) and I think I didn't need to add 'he chose her!' because after that, the dad totally ignored me! Now I was just being friendly but I clearly got the impression that something was wrong with me for being cheated on or I was coming across as someone with baggage?
I don't know- I do know I need to find a way to explain why I have an 11 month old and am separated.

So maybe just say "well we are separated and probably headed for divorce" and that is that? ANd like I have said, I won't date until I am ready.

But I did hear from several that the divorce takes a year at least. These people used lawyers. One person said they had to tell their lawyers "please do what we are asking you to do." because the lawyers wanted to drag it out for money. NOw I don't know if that is true because I have read a bunch of stories now where the attorneys are not encouraging the couple to divorce!

J was able to find a dad she liked and although there was a cute, petite, friendly woman who was chatting him up at first, J was able to end the night talking to him! Yippee! I think she said I was good "encouragement" or she felt supported even though I did nothing!

So I do still feel self conscious being single with a young baby, but I do the "fake it til you make it" thing and act confident, I befriend the mothers in the group first, and dress conservatively. I'm being serious!