Also, with time, comes perspective and seeing things as they really were. I was blinded by nearly unconditional love for my xw. I looked past the fact that she was a criminal, liar and adultress. I thought I could fix everything, but I was wrong.
Seeing this helped me to realize that life is short and I deserve better.
Forgive, accept and move on...be your best.
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
The hardest thing for me is to stop looking at my W as a confused and lost girl that maybe one day will find her way back home.
And yes, sometimes, I think of her on those terms as liar and adulterer but soon after, I think that I can't judge her based just on what she's done in the past 3 months. I can't forget about those 12 years when she was the most lovely and considered person I've known.
Trying to get the balance right is tricky.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
Long time no see guys. Here's an update of what's happened since my last post:
- I was doing consistently good for about a month. GALing etc. but things at work started going not so great and since then I've had a bit of a relapse that has extended for 2 weeks now. Good days and bad days.
- I've now moved to a new place. I'm sharing it with a girl, friend of mine who needed to rent a room in her property. Today is my first night there. It will allow me to save some money and it's closer to work.
- Changing places and the fact that work is not great right now have been the causes of me missing the days where my W used to provide emotional support when I had a bad day. My "new" stability has been shaken.
- Still not a word from my W. She hasn't even sent me those papers I was going to post. I sent her a msg today asking her about them, no reply.
- Finally, I kept my distance and avoided any potential information about my wife but just today I STUMBLED across an old online diary she used to keep and found out she UPDATED IT last April. The post is about the recent even in her life. She just refers to it as a chaotic time, where she did things she never thought she could, hurt people badly along the way really badly, had many sleepless nights and ended up bruised and shed many, many tears but in the end, she has learned that she has chosen the only relationship that matters which is the one with herself. She says she's proud of herself because she lost the fear of jumping into the unknown and now she's ready to fly...
Does it make any sense to any of you? Care to explain?...
Hope you're all fine friends! F
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
the only relationship that matters which is the one with herself. She says she's proud of herself because she lost the fear of jumping into the unknown and now she's ready to fly...