Hi,
I must print this last response-it is very good! Yes, I should get mad at the devil! It is his fault! He preys on my weaknesses!!!

I copied the hw assignment that I gave to LO and am going to do it myself:
What helps in your R? Give me a list of at least 5. What does NOT work? Give me a list of at least 5. (even if you have to go back a few years for answers). What are some of your more of the same behaviors? What would be some 180's for you? If your h were acting how you wanted him to, how would you be acting? What would you be doing differently?


What helps:
1. Accepting H, loving him unconditionally
2. Laughing/joking/playing around w/H
3. Giving H emotional/physical space
4. Cooking dinner/cleaning house
5. Being secure, independent, confident
6. Taking care of myself

What doesn't work:
1. Pressuring H,
2. Having expectations of H
3. Getting mad at/upset with/feelings hurt by H
4. Blaming H for my unhapiness **
5. Making ASSumptions about how H is thinking/feeling
6. Being depressed/moody
7. Being clingy/dependent/needy/crying/emotional

More of the same behaviors:
1. Crying for not getting my way
2. Getting my feelings hurt
3. Asking for more more more (express your feelings, take me out, dress up for me, show me affection, buy me stuff, have energy for me, initiate sex, be romantic, show me that you care, say stuff, compliment me, call me, etc., etc., etc...)
4. Taking his jokes seriously
5. Being impatient that things aren't changing quickly enough
6. Not having faith in our r.
7. Not trusting him/feeling jealous/insecure, etc.

180's:
Being strong, secure, confident, trusting, laughing (with him and at myself), having faith, being logical & rational (what??? ). Being CALM, being emotionally stable (what he ALWAYS asks for-that's only what he asks for! Can I buy that on e-bay?) Um, accepting what I get and not NEEDING more all the time, not being dependent on him for my self-worth, not needing him for my happiness, not blaming him for my insecurities and unhapiness. Being patient and keeping my d@mn mouth shut! Being a truly loving, accepting, appreciative wife that I know I can be and that he deserves. **sniff** I would be his friend. This answer applies to the last 2 questions really.

If I print these, will I READ them continuously???

Thanks for the support always!
karen