Mila, Snodderly, SA, thanks so much for your replies, I really needed to hear your "voices" today.
Mila, he wants his own place, which makes letting him live with me while he finishes up his MLC next to impossible!
Snodderly, he keeps saying the same thing different ways, I think, making me feel like I am causing the rift, does that sound right?
SA, thank you for reminding me to try to listen and validate, I did need to hear that again.
So WH came over this evening to talk. He wants me and the kids to live in my city, and him to live in his city. He knows I can't support the family on my own in his city, so without him I will stay in my city anyways, so why can't I stay AND be in a relationship with him while he lives in his city???
He wants me to say that I love him and want him, or else he will have to move on with his life.
He says that it is selfish of me to want to live together conventionally, and that if I really loved him then none of that matters. He says I am selfish for driving a wedge in the relationship between him and I over where I live.
He says he wants to teach the children that love conquers all and that it doesn't matter where you live.
I listened and validated and tried to be nice for about 1/2 an hour, then said that I didn't know what to do or what if anything changed. He said he failed in making me understand, that I don't love him enough, and he drove away.
