Need help Busting Affair.

[elvencat]

ME: did you conveniently forget that the love of your life is still married and you shouldn't post info on an affair on the internet? .

OW: June 6 at 3:31pm Report
i haven't forgotten anything and i didn't post info on any affair. i never mentioned a name or marital status about "the love of my life." you inferred all of that yourself. .

ME: June 6 at 3:40pm no. I didn't. H told me.

ME: June 6 at 3:41pm unless of course you are two timing him? .

ME: June 6 at 3:42pm and you did change your relationship status to in a relationship. And as long as H is married to me, you are having an affair with him. Not a legitimate relationship. .

ME: June 6 at 3:46pm And until he told me yesterday that he'd agreed to have a "relationship" with you, we were sleeping in the same bed and he was holding me at night, and I was holding his hands to keep him from hitting himself. . [NOTE: H has schizophrenia and self-inflicts sometimes when he is severely stressed.]

ME: June 6 at 3:48pm and I was going to sleep elsewhere last night and DD cried her eyes out and didn't want me to leave. I don't want to leave either. H has been in my life so long. And now there is a 3 yr old to worry about, too. .

OW: June 6 at 4:28pm Report
I am aware that you have crawled into bed with [H] a few times since you "moved out." I am also aware that the majority of nights you have slept alone or with DD. You seem to be missing the big picture here. H is not in love with you. He does not want to be married to you anymore. Even if he and I weren't involved, he wouldn't want to remain with you. You cannot save a relationship unless BOTH people are willing, and he is not. He is done. He has moved on. You should do the same. .

ME: June 6 at 4:32pm You should get your facts straight. H and I have been sharing a bed for a long time. We have only slept a few nights alone or with DD, usually when I'm at my parents. I moved to the other house two weeks ago for one night. And H asked me to come home. He has had sex with me twice in three weeks, both times initiated by him. He lied to you when he said he told me he asked my to come back last October just for DD. He told me he'd work on the relationship, but he continued to see you. Then in March, he promised... PROMISED... not to become involved with anyone unless and until our divorce was final. He broke the promise. You want to know what's really going on, you need the perspective of someone other than him who knows. .

ME: June 6 at 4:34pm I think you're helping him along in the idea that he doesn't want this relationship, and I think you also made it "clear" to him that I'm "controlling" him... did you ever think that maybe there was a second side to the story and you didn't know the whole picture? .

ME: June 6 at 4:36pm You want him to be moved on. You need to back off and let me save my family. But then, based on your own experience, walking away did wonders for you, right? . {NOTE: OW left her H without attempting reconciliation and moved in with her family. She feels she is "cinderella" at their beck and call and they never help her with anything.}

ME: June 6 at 4:48pm H will miss his daughter very much. I will miss H very much. H and I have problems we need to work on, yes. But he still cares for me, and having a family stay together is more important that taking it apart. He thinks he's tried because he feels I didn't listen to him. And now that I understand that, you are there to tell him he has somewhere to go where he doesn't have to do any hard work himself. I want my husband and my family. I'm sorry you hate your life, but that is no reason to latch onto someone else who has other commitments.