Last night I slept well, got up this morning went to church (took my new adrenal support pill) and came home coughing and exhausted! I'm hoping it was too much sun yesterday in my baseball adventure. It's damn demoralizing though, I'm sick of being sick. It's hard enough trying to deal with the Adrenal Fatigue without flu/bronchitis bringing me down for weeks too. I find it hard to keep the PMA up. It's too easy to start ruminating and depressing myself with the old "what if's" that are so plentiful. Tonight I'll hit the sack early, get a good night sleep and head into work again. I've missed five days in a row and have NEVER missed that much time before. My mind starts messing with me "maybe you're falling apart" blah blah blah. It's hard enough being 52 and living alone without weeks of flu and bronchitis. Well, enough bitching, this too shall pass.
Can't remember bc I post too many places have you read that book "Journey From Abandonment to Healing"? I just bought it the other night after numerous suggestions. Made it through the first chapter on "Shattering" and am working through the chapter on "Withdrawal" now...it is good stuff don't know why I waited so long to start reading it!
Anyway, being sick is not a crime or a shortcoming, coming from someone still coughing up junk in week four of the flu/bronchitis saga.
Well since daybreak can't be a groupie, I will apply for that position.
No, I haven't read that BobbiJo but I've heard it mentioned a number of times by people on the BB, maybe I should check it out. I guess my issue with being sick is that it makes me feel weak and if I'm weak I might crack and ...well, you get the ruminating picture. All my life I've fought things and won, Alcoholism, diabetes, marriage breakup, and now I'm fighting Adrenal Fatigue (for probably the last year), sometimes I just get sick of fighting. Well, that's enough bitching for one night, besides I don't want to lose my first groupie, do I!
Hey wii, so I was pondering the excerpt you posted a couple of days ago about how a person isn't whole if they need the other to make them happy. So I can see how that applies to my stbxw but it could apply to me too (and others here). Why are we fixated on having our WAS come back?
Anyway, just a detour there. Hope you feel better soon. It sucks being sick for this long while relying solely on yourself. I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled out but I'm delaying it because I don't want to be out of commission for days and I don't want stbx to bring me to the oral surgeon.
How are your kids doing? Are they spending more time with mom since you're sick?
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Go with the laughing gas, it's worth the extra bucks! My kids are with me as of today, they were with STBX last week but D16 did come to my place for lunch each day as her school is a block away. As for wanting back our WAS's, I think what most people want is the life they had before, an intact family. I know for me, that's what I miss and when I'm sick I hate sitting here alone in my apartment with no one around but the turtle (although he is a caring turtle, he gets excited when he sees me...as long as I have his food container in my hand) Sure, I can call my parents but it's just not the same. Any baseball on tonight, that's been my lifesaver this week!
There’s a party goin’ on right here A celebration to last throughout the years So bring your good times, and your laughter too We gonna celebrate your party with you
Come on now
Celebration Let’s all celebrate and have a good time Celebration We gonna celebrate and have a good time
It’s time to come together It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure
Everyone around the world Come on!
Yahoo! It’s a celebration Yahoo!
Celebrate good times, come on! It’s a celebration Celebrate good times, come on! Let’s celebrate
We’re gonna have a good time tonight Let’s celebrate, it’s all right We’re gonna have a good time tonight Let’s celebrate, it’s all right
Baby…
We’re gonna have a good time tonight (Ce-le-bra-tion) Let’s celebrate, it’s all right We’re gonna have a good time tonight (Ce-le-bra-tion) Let’s celebrate, it’s all right
Yahoo! Yahoo!
Celebrate good times, come on! (Let’s celebrate) Celebrate good times, come on! It’s a celebration! Celebrate good times, come on! (Let’s celebrate)
Come on and celebrate, good times, tonight (Celebrate good times, come on!) ‘Cause everything’s gonna be all right Let’s celebrate (Celebrate good times, come on) (Let’s celebrate)…
OK, I'm gonna stop bitching! I just got this email from my brother and I'll share it because his misery makes me happy!
"I woke up this morning and went to take my morning leak. When I flushed I discovered that someone took a massive dump and clogged the toilet!! Sh!t was all over the place. I quickly grabbed the plunger to unclog the toilet, only to discover the plunger is broken. It took me an hour to get the toilet unclogged and all the sh!t cleaned up!
After the mess was cleaned up, I thought would enjoy a relaxing coffee on the deck. I have attached a picture of what welcomed me for my morning coffee.
Yes it was a dead, smelly squirrel. I then decided to go back to bed and start the day over again. You got to love relaxing Sundays!!!!"
Well, Whatis is back at work...for how long, who knows! Yesterday night I let it go at D16, I was so mad. I felt like STBX who has these outbursts frequently. I had wanted to get to bed early last night, get a decent nights sleep before going to work tomorrow. D16 was at a gf's preparing a group presentation for today. I called her at 9:00pm to see when I could pick her up and she suggested 11:00pm...I lost it. I got so mad, "You are not staying out until 11:00 pm, I will pick you up at 10:00pm., that's it!" She replied "if we fail this project it's on your head" and I said "fine, you're coming home" When I went to pick her up she started carrying on about needing to stay later. I just said "goodbye" got in my car and drove away. A half hour later I called to see how she was getting home and we got into another squabble, i ended up saying "I am so pissed off right now!" and slammed the phone down. I was fuming. I'd wanted to get a good nights sleep, was exhausted but couldn't due to D16. Finally, I phoned again and told her I would pick her up at 11:30pm. which I did. I actually punched a door I was so frustrated and that is just not me. Now, I don't present this because I'm proud of it but the anger just poured out of me and the kid took the worst of it. I got to bed about midnight. I acted like STBX does on a regular basis except she doesn't punch doors...and I don't either. The tired and sick feeling finally got to me. I guess it will be apology time tonight for me. The kid actually was working and not off screwing around. I feel bad for my behaviour but I guess that makes me human, doesn't it! Thank goodness these little anger sprees happen about once a year. I'm pretty good that way. Now, back to work...I think they've locked me in my office so I can't get out!
