screwing up big time and need help

[elvencat]

Ok, so I know it's been awhile and I went MIA. I've been sick off and on and DD was sick, and H was sick... and ick. I haven't gotten the house cleaned up yet, but this week for sure. I have several job leads, and now I got a confirmation of affair last night.

So H tells me he wants to talk to me and that his therapist told him to be honest with me and that he was following her advice. He told me he'd just started a relationship with OW just a few days go (yeah right) and that it hadn't been going on anywhere near as long as I thought. I kinda lost it because in the midst of him telling me he was being honest, I knew he wasn't. After a lot of doing stuff that I knew I shouldn't, I left the room and called a friend. We had a nice long talk, but I was still ticked off and couldn't keep myself from saying stuff to him before bed.

This morning, I got on facebook and went to snooping. OW changed her relationship status to "In A Relationship" and posted a status update from this past Tuesday night that said "I've found the love of my life..." I lost it. Confronted husband, he said he had no idea she'd posted that. She called right in the middle of this convo and he wouldn't answer his cell phone. I asked him if she knew everything about us, and he said "yes". So I said, fine, I'll make sure she knows. And since I know she won't answer my caller id, I'll send her a message on Facebook. He didn't think I'd do it, but he said, whatever.

I'll post the facebook convo in the next message, but suffice to say he hadn't been telling her everything. He called his Mother! to tell her he was angry about the info I posted, and of course she told me. So I think OW gave H an earful, but I also think he's trying to smooth it over again.

So, I don't know how badly I screwed up, but I finally told my husband that I want at least 6 months of living together as a family, and attending marriage counseling, before I'd even consider signing divorce papers. He said he'd think about it, but that he thought it would be stupid because I'd just want 6 months more after that. I told him that depended on how the counseling went and how we felt about things after the 6 months.

Argh. I hate this.... so.. here's the facebook convo with OW: