This dressing up and control thing do seem to be a difficult issues for you.
Quote: The thing is that most of our issues are centered around control-me trying to control him and his resistance to it. If I could just give that up!!! How do I do that?? Why do I have to manipulate all situations?? Sheesh!
From what I've read, I think you are right about this. This seems to be a personality type, but I'm sure you can overcome it. Why do you want to control him or feel that you need to control him? You are his wife, not his mother. I know that a lot of people has a very hard time not trying to control others and I think it is because by doing that they feel more secure somehow. But, he is a grown man. You know that he resents you doing this. Wouldn't you resent it yourself? You've said before that he always seems to wait on you to make plans, etc. Maybe this is because you've always been the one in control so he doesn't bother making the effort. Stop trying to make up for what you feel that he lacks. Try to put yourself in his place and treat him like you'd want to be treated. You can do it. You've come so far and you are doing so well. I have a friend who like to control and she is slowly learning how to "chill" and she says that it is such a relief. You can do it and I'm sure you will feel like a weight has been lifted. Just bite your tongue, breathe deep, and let it go!! You can do it.
