I think your intentions are good but the execution is off.
Now really think about what you just wrote. She came home from work and her first communication was again with the dog. She went upstairs to pout until you went up there.
She is not blind and saw you putting up shelves. Once she realized you were done she went downstairs to make her juvenile statement of.. OIN, nothing you do is good enough ya dumb ass and I am going to take down the photos just to get a rise out of you.
Again, shrugging her shoulders is not an acceptable form of communication when you are asked a direct question. Since your W's preferred method of communication is grunts, moans and a variety of other sounds the way to avoid having to be exposed to this is stop asking her questions you know there is no good answer to.
Do you think if you had not put up new shelves she would have randomly made the grand gesture to remove photos from the old shelves? My guess is no, she would not have. She simply wanted a way to undermine the effort you put forth in hanging the new shelves.
She started this exchange with a toxic gesture. Instead of detaching yourself from her BS you responded with a toxic question. Now I understand it was not an unreasonable question but given your W's behavior when she acts like a silly child she will respond like one when questioned. So, don't question her.
