Well,
I took my goals home but forgot to read them continuously. And I realized that I didn't make my point in one of my paragraphs. Where I was saying that he quits playing guitar and comes upstairs, etc.-It's like even when I go to veg, or go to "my room" or go into our room to lay down or whatever, he eventually comes in and asks what I am doing. I don't know what to say, so I say what does it look like I'm doing? not very nice, I know. I just need to say, Just vegging, or just having quiet time, or something to that effect. Any ideas? Something that means I do not want to talk right now or have to be Acting as if b/c i need time to regroup-or whatever.

We did go out with his one guy friend and we all got along fine. There was one point where we ran into a ff of mine from out of town and I got pulled aside. I told him to come this way and he said that he wanted to go that way with his friend since he hadn't seen him in a while. I was thinking "we were just with him on Sunday." (but guy talk...) then "but he told me he says whatever he says to friend that he would say in front of me..." etc. So, YES, I was getting paranoid. H was acting somewhat aloof earlier in the eve. I think maybe he was afraid of how the eve. was going to go.

We went to a few diff. places. Went home. Then I was acting REALLY weird. I think those Smirnoff Ices sneak up on me. We got home, undressed, got into bed. I wanted to snuggle but our bodies were cold. I said we would warm up by snuggling, he said he would lose heat by snuggling with me. I got pissy, had a fit basically b/c I wasn't getting my way he rolled over, then i did, then i rolled back and said, "don't you wanna play w/me? can't we snuggle??" then i cried a little. then we did and fell asleep. Part of it i didn't even remember b/c i thought we fell asleep first and he said we didn't. we talked about it b/c I told him i had a guilty conscience and that i had gone psycho. he agreed that i was having a fit b/c i wasn't getting my way.

I told him that I thought I was having a hard time b/c of the cycle that I told you guys about the other day where we get along for a while then I turn. He asked if that's what I thought it was and I said, yes that I had been struggling with it Tuesday and Wednesday. He just listened. I thanked him and asked if it scared him. He said no, and we went about.

Tday was fine.
watched movie, ate at his aunt's.
haven't been able to kiss for a few days b/c i have a cold sore so we've been pretending. last night i said, "you want to kiss me, don't you?" teasingly. he said, YEAH, i do!"

sorry this is long
karen

hope to catch up with you soon-lunch time...
am i sick if i missed you guys???