my H said our M was a mistake from the start.....

[xin]

We have been married for 6 yrs and together for 9. No kids. After i discovered he was having an EA, he said our M was a mistake and if D was not possible, he wouldn't have got married.

Is there any hope for our M? We have been separated for almost 3 months.

I can't stop thinking about all the signs of my H's unhappiness, 3 mths before I discovered the EA, and how I had dismissed them. I can't stop thinking what if i had done something then, even just asking him why?

Maybe I don't really want the M either? I'm fighting really hard now, like contacting him regularly and telling him I love him even when he hasn't said it for the last 6 mths. Is this just a natural reaction for someone who's stubborn and doesn't not want to "lose"?

Just want to throw it out there - love to hear your experience, especially those who are happily divorced.

[rli1]

Maybe I don't really want the M either? I'm fighting really hard now, like contacting him regularly and telling him I love him even when he hasn't said it for the last 6 mths. Is this just a natural reaction for someone who's stubborn and doesn't not want to "lose"?

I've only been at this DBing for a couple of weeks, but I've spent hours reading the books and all kinds of things. Two things I've learned, although hard to practice, is don't pursue. Quit contacting him. Quit saying "I love you." Get the books. Read, reflect, and read some more. At the very least you will come out of this whole.

[TimeHeals]

You were together for 9 years. There had to be something there before the EA.

Contacting him to say "I love you" is probably not helpful because if he's in an EA (and it could be PA by now after 3 motnhs seperation), then he probably is too wrapped up in that to care about you.

[xin]

Hi rli1 and TimeHeals

Thanks for your responses. I'm sorry we are where we are now. I will pray for all of you, that you'll be strong and trust in God's plans for you. Know that God is good and even though we don't know why we're going thru' this now, Know that His plan is perfect and we just need to leave it in His capable hands.