It sounds like there is a lot going on, much of it positive!
Quote: He totally deserves to be loved and I want to love him completely and unconditionally, but I am scared. Scared, scared, scared. As you know, I maintain this wall of scrutiny, conditions, and sometimes downright hostility.
I sometimes like to think of it like this. I am behind the wall and just telling myself that it is better back here. Safe and warm. But the reality is I have no idea what is going on on the other side of the wall. And even though I'm back here, guess what? I still get hurt. The wall didn't protect me from anything, just made it so I couldn't see it coming. If I step outside of the wall at least I can see anything that might come up and have the opportunity to be strong and brave.
