Irish, I'm very sorry you are here, but you are among people who will become your cyber family as you travel the road to finding yourself once again.
Your h appears to have quite a number of unresolved issues that may have been suppressed over the years. He's said some things that could be MLC related, but the addiction is something that I would be concerned with. Have you been checked out by a doctor? If he's been out there experimenting w/others, you do not want any gifts that keep on giving. Please take care of yourself first and then your child that is still living at home.
Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to change his mind at this point. If he's done, as he says he is, his journey will be a tough one. He's definitely using all of the normal excuses to stay in the home and yet, he's not doing anything to work w/you on the relationship. You are going to have to drop the rope, have faith in God, and allow your h to have his freedom to explore. You will need to change the way that you view him for now and treat him as a roommate and nothing more. If this is MLC, you should begin to see some spending, changing of appearance, etc. happening if not now...soon.
You will need to protect yourself and your financial assets. If you have joint accounts, start separating them...credit cards, remove his name or yours from the joint accounts. You do not want to be accountable for his debt. You will need to take care of yourself, i.e., plenty of sleep, eating right, exercising, etc. It's very important that you do this.
Come here whenever you feel the need to post. There is always someone here to listen.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
