I didn't say your H was dead set on divorcing you. What I think is he has no plans to return to the marriage. Honestly, why would he divorce you? IMO the only reason he would is to appease OW. He has it pretty good right now as I see it. What incentive does he have to do anything different? He has none. He can live with the OW (and not even be honest about it) and still get the very best "mothering" parts of you. Not a bad gig if you can get it!

Your H knows you would take him back and you want the marriage to work. The person who cares least about the R controls it and that is illustrated by the fact he can be the kind of guy who leaves his pregnant W and somehow in the end he has no consequences, two women who want him and a very easy part time arrangement with his son. Do you really want to be part of that equation anymore?

I guess I have to ask why on Earth you chose to remain part of that triangle for so long?

I don't know if there are any benefits to discussing the OW and your son with your H. The way I read it, it seemed to me (again, pardon me if I am off base) that it was a concern of yours but you felt legally you really couldn't do much about it. I don't have children so this might be terrible insight but I see no problem with asking your H what role exactly OW will play in your son's life.

And, I am not really sure what you need to talk to your H about (RE: a divorce). Like you said you have a parenting plan in place and an asset division plan in place. You have been open, kind and more than compassionate despite his behavior. IMO all you need to do is get the paperwork, sign it and have him served. He certainly didn't bend over backwards and get your input on HIS decisions so follow suit and do what is best for you.

I have no idea if the OW will freak out or not. And really, who cares? Women who think it is okay to sleep with a married man (who happens to have a pregnant wife) because it feels good don't have the moral fortitude to even know what they *should* be freaking out about. Not only is OW a bad influence on your son but your H is too as that is what your H chose.

And again I ask you... your H has no problem being there full time for OW's son since they all live together but is only there part time for his BIOLOGICAL son he shares with you. Yet somehow you feel your H is worthy of a discussion about divorce?