Why should we be done though? Why could not our spouses come back home and put the blame for the failure on themself, show true remorse and make good on what they made bad?
By the way fellas I went out last weekend like a bachelor, and went out yesterday like one too. Had fun, and had no stress from the situation in me. Life was good for those moments.
And some spouses do come back...mine did, she even said she was sorry and remorseful but 2yrs later she left again. So at some point you just say enough is enough, then you take one or two approaches i.e. I'm not expecting anything from her and I'm not putting my life on hold anymore- if she comes back I'll re-evaluate the sitch and see what happens. Or you say I'm done.
Good for you on getting out and enjoying yourself, you deserve it, we all do.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I went out with TM last night. It was a good time, but I'm focusing on something specific right now. Now, I know I tend to catastrophize, and I made some passing comment about something I was worried about, and she dove in, probed, and essentially called me on it.
Most people don't do that.
People generally are sympathetic, supportive, tell you that it'll be OK, you'll figure it out, etc. She just didn't let me get away with it.
And it's funny, I finally had to admit "I worry too much," and she said "I think so."
Now I've got to admit, it was a passing comment, I wasn't really dwelling on it. But funny that she didn't let it pass. And although it was a mildly uncomfortable moment, it helped strip away my anxiety about it.
So this brings up a point of comparison... XW always let me get away with it. Something would bother me, I'd go off and brood, and she would let me; or maybe she just didn't know how to get through to me, and I think she'd ultimately feel like I'd "disappeared". And she had really similar moods, she does the same thing actually, and I'd support her through her moods.
Who is TM...The Mother...Transcendental Meditation? Now, just because someone says they think you worry too much doesn't mean that you do! Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I'm guessing that if you're on AD's and sleeping medication that may indeed be the case. My point is just that if YOU think you worry too much and want to do something about it, you will. Personally, I love to worry because it fills my day. It's easy to do and is repetitively comforting. What's not to love. Embrace your worry!
Well then, lucky for you I have a book for all occasions! Try "The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You" by Robert L. Leahy. It uses a cognitive approach to worry. Now, are you absolutely sure you don't want to embrace your worry?
I will check it out! Thank you Wii. I am absolutely sure.
You know what just occurred to me - yeah, today's the anniversery, I actually talked to XW this morning, and we had a nice conversation. But not what I thought to post about. Not what's on my mind today. Hmm.
