still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

You have been separated for some time and while this is painful to realize, your H has made no shift in seeing you as a woman and not just your son's mom. And why would he? He has the OW for the "other stuff"

No, this isn't a realization. I think I finally "got it" when he didn't ask S and I to go with him for his lumpectomy procedure (removed a lump from his TESTICLE- they were acting like they really thought it was cancerous but it wasn't)

How do I get him to see me as a woman again?

Well actually...why couldn't he see me as a "woman" and still be with OW? I mean are you thinking that as soon as he remembers I am a woman and that he was attracted to me once upon a time then OW goes bye bye? I am skeptical. And as you know, I have definitely been playing up my feminine attributes in appearance for quite some time now.

In reference to the rest of "the list" for divorce,I didn't list out insurance, college fund, mortgage, retirement but it is all set up if we divorce.

Well, now, let me ask. Imagine you are remarried and totally head over heels for your new H. Maybe you even have a new baby on the way. How would you want S's visitation to go? Would you still have WH come over and all of that?

haha! no more babies for me! but I think if I was remarried, or had a serious boyfriend, WH would not have keys to the house, I would just exchange S at the door and he wouldn't come inside. Good question!

Oh yeah and CG about doing the exchange with S using a different person- not an option that I have. I wish I had a regular babysitter!

I do transfer S at a neutral location most of the time for pick ups, but since he is only a baby and he is tired, WH drops him off at the house so we can put him straight in his crib. I think transferring him again at the neutral location is too much for his age at this time. (being bedtime and he is already dozing off!)

thank you though for helping me think of other angles!