My big concern is not filling the void and allowing her to become attached to an OM and more detach to our M.
Grey is being upbeat, but not placating her.
Grey is being confident, but not pursuing.
Grey is calling her on her rude behavior, but not being an ass about it, and saying something like "Look, you don't have to be a jerk about it. If you don't want to go, just say so -- I'm not a mind-reader. I'm gonna go; let me know if you change your mind."
It's taking a strong, leading position, respecting yourself to not put up with her crap behavior, but staying upbeat about it all.
I go back to what I first posted to you, and that is BOTH of you seem to feel like it's okay for her to treat you like crap NOW, because you used to treat HER like crap BEFORE.
It ain't healthy, she's pushing your buttons over and over because she knows you're riddled with guilt and are going to let her do it, and the dysfunction merely continues.
