i am really hard on myself. overall, i've been doing ok but i do keep kicking myself for this (coach had told me this was not my time right now since i'm in the friendship phase and this was pass/fail...ugh, now i feel like i'm starting all over again). you're right, i can't wallow and need to move on but each time he seems withdrawn, i feel so out of control and depressed. i'm supposed to be working on feeling calm and courageous.
about the date, yes he told me... i'm trying to "act as if' it's not coming. honestly, easier said than done.
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Whatever is going on right now with him....has to happen...
you're absolutely right.
i think part of what i keep beating myself about is that at a time where he was starting to feel "safe" and was opening up to me, i reared my ugly head and showed him that he wasn't. and there we go again.
then for my own self, i'm trying so hard to move forward, stay positive, but the times i feel out of control, i'm a mess. so i keep beating myself over and over again. my IC keeps telling me to be compassionate to myself (she says to give some of the compassion i show to H, to myself). to be honest, i'm not very good at that.
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And the more you focus on where he is...the less you can focus on where you are. And maybe that should be the other way around.
YES. sigh, some days are better than others and today is in the middle.
