I also fall into this problem. For me the "why" and "how to do differently" are related to one another.
I tend to sabatog during the good because I am still dealing with left over pain. That is my way to bring H back down and "pay" so to speak for some previous hurt.
My way to help myself not do that is to really get to the letting go of the pain.
It sounds like you have made some really good positives!
And no, you don't sound rediculous. Each of our issues are just as important to us and the someone elses are to them.
We are all in this together and seems like sooner or later each of us find ourselves dealing with simular issues.
