Originally Posted By: Awoken
So, thank you everyone. I'm addressing it. But it seems fruitless. My understanding is that I have little power of this, and that it simply means that I will be less cooperative when W needs my help.
It's not the co-parenting situation that I want for my children, or for me.
I'm not so sure that you have little power. Simply this...you are in charge of the children's schedule during your time with them. If she has made other plans, tough...YOUR schedule has priority during YOUR time with them. Unless she works it out with YOU ahead of time and you and she make an agreement. SHE handles the consequences of her planning choices when it's done on your time without your agreement. Be strong, be firm, make her live with the rules and let her know you will respect her time with the kids as well.

This separation and division of the children's time is happening NOW - These 'rules' you have both already agreed upon, verbally, if not in writing. If you let it slide now, why would you expect her to be any different later just because papers have been signed? It sounds like she is just living her life and making plans irregardless of you and your relationship with your children.

I'm really sorry it has come to this. I know how badly you wanted this to be civil so that you could have a healthly co-parenting relationship. You can approach this not as controlling or demanding, but respectfully and requesting the same respect you give her and her time with the kids. If she sends the scheduling through the children, I would simply disregard it - and tell her you will disregard it coming from the kids, that you need to hear it from HER or the schedule doesn't exist. Period.

I do understand that you don't want to look like the bad guy here, but I'm not sure you will. Make a stand now so it won't come back to bite you later. Sorry, I'm off my soapbox now.

(Would you call that a 2x4?) (((Awoken)))
You're really doing great. Just hang in there and keep plugging away at it. It will all fall into place eventually.

cool Oh yeah, hope you find a great car for D17 that she really likes and is reliable for her. smile