I messed up some last night. As you know, my fears have been building up and I ended up "asking for" something and he felt controlled. He says he needs to do it in his time. I say I want assurance that it will happen in the future. UGG...
But, fortunately, we recovered well again. (I know I am really pushing my luck!)
We talked $$-this is ++. He is helping plan and even paid off a couple tiny bills that i have.
*One of my problems is that when things are getting better and going well, I start thinking about all the negative stuff. WHY??? Yes, I am sabatoging, and I know that I do it, so why continue? Well, I guess in SBT, the why isn't important, but rather, how to do things differently. How do I trust that this is going to last and that h loves me? How do I trust that even if he did leave me, I would be ok? Do I sound ridiculous compared to some of you whose h DID have a PA or EA?? 2x4???
