SecondChance, It appears that SA and I are on the same page in the fact that your h is still very much confused and doesn't know what he wants or how to go about finding solutions to his problems. I, too, still think that if you "reconciled" he would run again in time. He's sounding entirely too desperate to reconcile and the only thing that keeps coming sending red flags is the urgency in wanting to reconcile. I suspect he doesn't want to lose you, but also the financial assets would have to be split and he doesn't want to have to face the music and give up a lot of what he's been use to in that arena.
In my opinion, and it realy doesn't count here, your h is still looking out for himself and he's not considering how you feel or need in the way of a husband, partner and companion. It's all about what he wants and nothing more. This man, if he were truly wanting to reconcile would find a way back to you and your family and make it work. He's asking you to accept the situation as it is now and work with him on what he sees as an acceptable way to live...
You have to make the decision as to whether you want to reconcile w/a half baked man or wait out the storm and take a chance and have a leap of faith and wait it out. Separation papers do not always mean a divorce will take place....then again, if a divorce takes place, you do not know whether God has a special plan for the both of you and will reunite you at a later time or if there is another path that you should be traveling. Again, we can all advise you as to what we see, what we take from your postings, but the bottom line is this...are you willing to live w/the emotional turmoil that comes w/having him around bouncing off the walls until he gets it together, if he gets it together?
Are you willing to walk on egg shells for along time? What about you children? How will they fare w/their father acting out periodically around them?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
