still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

WN! lol! you are right!!

Ok I confess that I did something different in my interaction with WH yesterday and I blame it on trying to detach in the sense that I don't care about what he thinks of my actions...yet I am writing about it here! First here is what I am referring to:

It's not about breaking off contact; it's not about not giving a damn about what your spouse is doing. It's about not letting their actions dictate your feelings and -- more importantly -- your responses.

Detaching means stopping doing all of the things that have been driving you crazy for months. Detaching means not snooping in his email, or driving past his house to see if he is there. Detaching means not analyzing every little thing he says or does as to what his intentions are. Detaching means not trying to figure out what you can say or do to manipulate him or control his behavior.

And what I did differently yesterday during his pick up of S was I just let down my guard and took a break...I was myself. I did this in the past a few time. But I felt like talking to him about S- there were a few things- he had texted me to let me know my SIL's H was in the hospital so I talked to him about that. Also I checked in briefly about the golf tournament.

So I was doing my best to not worry if I was doing damage or anything because I want to get better at detaching. But the reason I am posting this is because I DO WANT TO KNOW IF YOU THINK THE WAY ACTED IS OK! Meaning can I just go back to being myself again? Because I will when he drops S off in a few hours. Strategy wise if this is a mistake, I need to know.

and damn it what keeps swimming around in my mind is the fact that HE has been consistent this whooooooooole time- so does it really matter WTF I do? as long as it isn't crying or begging or going off in bouts of anger or pursuing him?