Eric, forgive me, I did not remember that you were working with lawyers.
I think that now that you have asked your wife the question more than once, and she gave you an answer, you must decide what you have to do legally.
But to keep asking is going down a cheeseless tunnel with someone whose cuckoo has to go back in the clock, ya know?
You keep asking hoping for a different answer. She keeps getting to you and has control. And round and round you go.
So, you do what you must, but, try real hard not to engage with her unless absolutely necessary. You don't need to use words to show her what kind of man you are, what kind of father you are, just live it.
I am sorry that this is starting to affect your daughter. Have you spoken with a therapist about how to handle it? There is a good book, I think it's called, How to talk to your children about divorce. I could check the name, but, it breaks it down by age.
Hang in there, my friend. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but, you will come out of this stronger than you ever were before.
Keep enjoying those children, working on you, and moving forward on your journey.
