...the next question is "Will you continue to detach and GAL"? I have been sort of following you this past month...you have been here for a while and I understand that this is not the first time H has "betrayed" you...but from what I am seeing you are betraying yourself too...by becoming so wrapped up in him and his every move...driving by, spying, texting, thinking, blaming...pretty much doing everything except working on you! You can not make your happiness another persons responsibility...that will drive them away...it is suffocating...it is unfair to that person to make them responsible for your feelings...to make a man the center of your universe, your best friend, your everything...will again, eventually drive them away...unless that man has is own issues he will not want the weight of your needs on him...that is why we (LBS) need to find our own happiness, quit blaming, and start acting...we need to work on ourself, focus on our children, and be the best and happiest person we can be...I have not seen you do this for more then a few posts...few and far between...you take a step in the right direction then do a 100 yd dash back...thus sinking deeper and deeper. Jody the coach can only tell you that you should detach ( I purposely did not use the word "continue", because it implies that you have been doing it.) You life will stay where it is at, you concerned about your son and his grades, his education, your anger, your sadness...it will revolve around and around UNTIL YOU made the CHOICE to change it...H's return won't change it, his continued activity won't change it...you will stay where you are until YOU change it.
I do want to commend for something though...you mentioned that it was not good to be here all the time...and your right, because that means your life is becoming about this place...and while initially this can be your lifeline and map for direction, eventually, like a baby learns to walk, you need to be able to let go and live!
I am concerned about your son...because he does not have the tools he needs to realize that he doesn't have to follow his parents foot steps in the spiral down and instead he gets caught in the vortex of both of your lives...dragging him a long whether he wants to go or not...
I have given up on getting a direct reply from you anymore as you usually gloss on by but I reply so that others will see what not to do and how it turns out if they do it this way years later...and you are going on years now since your registered in July 07
