Volare...hey! ohwoh...Cantare, wohwohwohwoh...

[Gardener]

LolaL

Now, that all being said,he comes over to pick up the Tween, and pulls out these pictures to "try to make me feel better." And then proceeds to remind me of a particularly brutal argument we had about 12 years ago. And THEN proceeds to tell me that I am the only woman he has ever been attracted to.

Springing something like that on you, knowing what you're going through right now was cruel, downright cruel and...controlling! "Mystical sign"! Lame.

... I am vulnerable emotionally.

He knows this. Thankfully, so do you.

I don't want to reconcile w/ XH.

Well then that should be the end of that. Period.

But now I feel this increasing sense of guilty because I know how much I hurt, and here is this guy who is still stuck in a marriage that ended ten years ago.

My friend...Stop. That. Right. Now.

It was nice of you to be sympathetic but you owe him NO explanations. Heck, you owe him nothing at all. Don't be a Superbitch- unless that is truly your last resort. Write down and memorize a firm, no-nonsense boundary on this. Memorize it word for word and be ready with it for the next time. And it's a boundary that should be followed by your front door closing on him or your hanging up on him.

And hold onto that thought - that REALITY - of "what it would be like to be back with him tonight. I could see it again, being where I was ten years ago, fighting like hell to reclaim my own identity and figure out why someone who "loved" me so much could try to control my every move."

When you feel vulnerable about this run-don't walk - to your IC, best friend, confidante, this board, whatever it takes.

You deserve better. Period. And it ain't him.

You, like all of us, are on the verge of a new beginning, a new adventure, on the cusp of something really good. And really healthy, given all we've learned here throughout our sitches.

Be strong.
Because you are.
(((LolaL)))